Pervasive sense of wrongdoing

“you can use things off you use medications off label all the time, you know, whether it's for, you know, weight loss or asthma or whatever.”

“"you definitely get a very nasty treatment from some of them... there's always the incompetence as well.”

“"And my daughter had been asking for vitamin c, you know, high dose of vitamin c, all the vitamins and stuff like that. And, you know, that was early from early on, she was told initially, she was told that there was a shortage.”

“suddenly, I wasn't gonna get the ivermectin. Yeah. They couldn't give the ivermectin, they said, because it's you know, they go they they they give you the same line. It's not it's not FDA approved. Yes. It is FDA FDA approved, and, you know, I argued with them a lot about that. And then it was, what about the budesonine? No. I can't do that because, they, you know, they just they they didn't want to do it. They didn't want to do the budesonine.”

“"I would they started to give me budesonide finally, but they would only give it to me the doctor had actually ordered it every four hours. He he relented. The pulmonologist relented and decided to do it every four hours. The pharmacy and the administration of the hospital denied that order and said I can only have it every eight hours. And so then the fight was on from there because, you know, then sometimes it's late and it's every ten hours or whatever. ... and ivermectin. And he was like, no. We're not gonna do you know? It's just, like, they would come, and they would be like, no. You know?”

“"they over oxygenated me, and now I understand that they do that because it hastens your demise. But, no mouth care with with the high oxygen.”

“"they know that they're saving the and it's it's to me, it's actually criminal that these hospitals, these hospital administrators are not having frontline doctors in to talk about their protocol that's so effective... ordering doctors not to do it, not don't do this, you know, thing that's saving so many people. Even to the point of banning or or forbidding doctors to prescribe vitamin c, when would that ever happen?”

“"I'm not okay. I'm being neglected and abused in this hospital, and they are going to kill me.”

“"there was a female doctor that tried to kind of gaslight me into staying. You know, they try to scare you into staying and dealing with their protocol, and, and I can't be gaslit. Right? Like, so she was she was saying to me, she said, you know, he can't there's no way to to manage your oxygen outside of a hospital. He can't do it. And, my husband kinda interjected and she said, no, I need to talk to her. She she said and I looked at my husband and I said, do you have everything you need to manage my oxygen at home? And he said, I do. And I told her, I said, I trust my husband. And if I die at his hands, it's better than dying at your hands. And, and we're leaving.”

“"my daughter had been asking for vitamin c, you know, high dose of vitamin c, all the vitamins and stuff like that. And, you know, that was early from early on, she was told initially, she was told that there was a shortage. They were saving the vitamin c for the most, most critical of patients, and my daughter was like, doctor Quach told my mom she was gonna die. I think that's pretty critical. And then she's like the nurse was like, well, there's a national shortage of vitamin c.”

“"As soon as he was put on vent, palliative care started coming in and bothering us. We even said we do not want palliative care. They continued to come in and started suggesting that we do a DNR to protect his good heart as they were wanting to harvest when this was all done. Again, we kept telling them we do not want palliative care. They continued. Every every day, somebody would come in acting all caring and trying to push for a DNR. Later several weeks later, a doc different doctors would walk in and say, he sure is a tough old guy. Meaning, what was taking so long for him to die?... Because Scott and White is a teaching hospital, They were experimenting and just trying to make excellent insurance, and I don't know what else to add.”

“"Every time we ask for a certain type of medication that we'd heard worked for somebody, more than once, the answer was always, it is not the protocol... anything we ask for, it was not protocol. Now saying that, the last couple of weeks, there were some antibiotics we set. We asked for budesonide to be given to him. So they gave it, but you can tell that they were just giving it to satisfy us. They only gave him the and I, like, twice a day, which was not enough.”

“"Yes. He did. Both cheeks. ... And I stayed on him about that.”

“"I said, okay. Everybody's little merry Christmas is over with because our Christmas wasn't that good. I said, I want phone Carrie in here tomorrow.”

“"Every every day, somebody would come in acting all caring and trying to push for a DNR... meaning, what was taking so long for him to die? And he was tough. He was he was a healthy man...”

“"At that point, we said, what will we gain? They said a couple of hours, and that's when we said, just stop. I believe that Because Scott and White is a teaching hospital, They were experimenting and just trying to make excellent insurance...”

“"They continued to come in and started suggesting that we do a DNR to protect his good heart as they were wanting to to harvest when this was all done. Again, we kept telling them we do not want palliative care... I believe that Because Scott and White is a teaching hospital, they were experimenting and just trying to make excellent insurance...”

“"It is not the protocol... They have a group of doctors that gather every week, and they make the decision of what works, what doesn't work, and what they're going to allow.”

“"if this was as as, dangerous an illness as they say it was, it just seemed to me like the doctors should have been more involved. They, you know, they should have been more hands on.”

“"you know, the nurses being very inattentive [...] he was really unhappy. And he asked me to ask, that that nurse not, see him. [...] But those five days that he was in ICU without being on a ventilator, his condition still did not improve. [...] I do have to say he, he had type two diabetes, and he was overweight. [...] So my daughter ran to get me, and by the time she did she was staying with me at my house just so I wasn't alone. [...] And, consequently, he was on a ventilator for thirty days. [...] But when they put you on a ventilator, they put you in a coma, like, medically induced coma. And they also paralyze you, which was just shocking and and frightening to me to hear that. And no one was explaining to me what that what this all meant.”

“"Of course, during this time, because it was COVID and everything was kind of crazy at the hospital. They didn't allow any visitors. They didn't allow me in. Even though I had COVID too and recovered, and tested negative, and I begged them and said, I I I I'll sign a release so that I don't hold you responsible if I get sick again. Just please let me see my husband. Not only did they not let me see my husband, but their policy was that you couldn't even come inside the hospital.”

“"I could not shake this horrible guilt feeling that I brought him there. You know, I picked that hospital. Maybe a different hospital would have been better...”

“"And I think they were planning to do that the next day. And and, so the next day, I spoke to the nurse. She said they were gonna do that, and then I didn't hear anything back.”

“"He had, signed a a do not resuscitate order, which at that point would, you know, have been completely useless to try to resuscitate him. I'm very grateful that I got to spend about an hour or so, hour and a half maybe at the most, with him. And I was with him holding his hand, talking to him when he passed. And, I could not shake this horrible guilt feeling that I brought him there. You know, I picked that hospital. Maybe a different hospital would have been better at at one point before he was, on a ventilator, he asked me to look into whether he could go to a different hospital because he was so unhappy there. And, they told me they wouldn't they said they wouldn't release him, and they said no other hospital would accept him in the condition that he was in. So there was no way that he could go to another hospital.”